Lost marbles

"Solute is like marbles.  This column is ' How many marbles did you loose?'"

One liners from my date

I went on a date last night.  These are some of the things I heard.  (It was a double date, so not all of these are from him.)
"The funny thing is, hipster is so mainstream now, it's not hipster anymore."
"Who turned on the sun?"
"You can assume that I'll say something completely stupid and rediculous, and you'll be right."

Hipster Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He took a bite of his pizza before it was cool.

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's a really obscure number.  You've probably never heard of it.

Procrastionation 1, Diligence 0

In my cognition, class every week we have to read and summarize a primary research article.  On the class website there were two articles posted this week.  One of the students asked which one we were expected to report on.  When the professor told us, another student said, "Aw man!  I'm almost done with my report on the other one."  The guy sitting next to him replied, "That's what you get for trying to get ahead.  Lesson one, procrastinate."

Japanese Smell Research

Someone talking with the TA in Sensation and Perception:  "The last day of class is a week from Tuesday."  "I thought it was two weeks from last Tuesday."  "That's the same thing.  We're just talking about different Tuesdays."

In cognition we are talking about language.  You hear either a D or a T, an L sound or an R sound not something in the middle.  "In Asian languages there is no distinction between l and r.  That's why it's impossible for a Japanese to say something like glomerulus.  Aren't you glad you're not a Japanese smell researcher?"  (Glomeruli are structures on the olfactory bulb in the brain.  They are the first brain region where smell is processed.)

One Man Band

Today I was listening to "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes on the radio as I drove home from the grocery store.  When the song was over the DJ said, "Hunter Hayes has more talent in his little finger than you and I have in our whole bodies.  He wrote that song, he sang that song, he played every instrument in that song.  He is literally like a one man band."

Let's Make Sure Our Priorities Are Straight

"A couple of things before we jump into the lecture.  First and most important, I'm second in our march madness bracket..."